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So, it's not a class-action, but he's acting as though it is. The judge in the case admonished him for using "we" when referring to the case. But then it gets better. He called as witnesses customers whose Satisfaction was not Guaranteed. One witness in particular was noteworthy for her sense of proportion and her exceptional reluctance to use even a hint of hyperbole:
And yet, despite the already comic nature of the proceedings, it gets better still:
Fortunately, Mr. Pearson is not a greedy man:
Bravo, sir.
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June 17, 2007 -- 1:30 PM
posted by eric
YOU'RE NOT MAKING ANY SENSE! YOU'RE ALL NOT MAKING SENSE
June 17, 2007 -- 1:29 PM
posted by eric
i'll kersecond that
June 17, 2007 -- 1:23 PM
posted by jsese
I'll kerjump on your McSweeny paras.
June 15, 2007 -- 7:47 PM
posted by alison
i'm so glad YOU said that Taylor, I was hoping it wasn't just me who was confused by that statement!
June 15, 2007 -- 3:03 PM
posted by nobody knows my face
pwn the stripper at boggle? You're not even making sense. What is this jibberish?
June 15, 2007 -- 3:39 AM
posted by eric
i think i'm gonna get in on your mcsweeney deal Par
also you bitches had better get ready to party hardy
and by that i mean pwn the stripper at Boggle
June 14, 2007 -- 9:49 PM
posted by Par
In re: the aforementioned McSweeney's Sale. I'm probably going to be placing my order on Sunday. I've had one (rather enthusiastic) email order already. If you're up for some stuff, send me an email by Sunday night.
June 14, 2007 -- 1:42 PM
posted by Par
Speaking of Nazis... well, let's start from the beginning.
You may have heard about Judge Roy Pearson suing a dry cleaner for $65 million because they lost a pair of his pants. I read the headline, but brushed it off. Then there's this:
Pearson says the Chung family . . . had no intention of living up to the sign in their shop that said "Satisfaction Guaranteed." Therefore, Pearson said, he had no choice but to take on "the awesome responsibility" of suing the Chungs on behalf of every resident of the District of Columbia.
So, it's not a class-action, but he's acting as though it is. The judge in the case admonished him for using "we" when referring to the case. But then it gets better. He called as witnesses customers whose Satisfaction was not Guaranteed. One witness in particular was noteworthy for her sense of proportion and her exceptional reluctance to use even a hint of hyperbole:
Grace Hewell, a retired congressional staffer, said Jin Chung, Soo's husband, "chased me out of the store" when she complained that her suit pants "looked like they had been washed" and no longer fit properly. "At 89, I'm not ready to be chased," she said. "But I was in World War II as a WAC, so I think I can take care of myself. Having lived in Germany and knowing the people who were victims of the Nazis, I thought he was going to beat me up. I thought of what Hitler had done to thousands of Jews."
And yet, despite the already comic nature of the proceedings, it gets better still:
"These are not my pants," Pearson recalled telling Chung when she handed him a pair of gray pants with cuffs. "I have in my adult life, with one exception, never worn pants with cuffs."
"And she said, 'These are your pants.' "
Pearson paused. He struggled to breathe deeply. He could not continue. Pearson blurted a request for a break, stood up, turned around and walked out of the courtroom, tears dripping from his full and reddened eyes.
Fortunately, Mr. Pearson is not a greedy man:
The trial is expected to end today. Pearson has reduced his claim to $54 million. But he told the judge that he also wants to be awarded attorney's fees, even though he represents himself. He would like to be paid at a rate of between $390 and $425 an hour.
Bravo, sir.
June 14, 2007 -- 12:32 PM
posted by Par
My favorite random-stuff uses:
- insect filter
- caution cards
- duplominos
- swimming goggles window-pillow (I'm so doing this for bus rides)
- paintbrush doorstop
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