> Life is like biryani. You move the good stuff towards you & you push the weird shit to the side.  

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May 19, 2026 -- 8:41 AM
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go back to maingo to old version

April 05, 2004 -- 11:18 PM
posted by alison

    14 of 25 papers read... yay
    soooo tired... dont care about paper any more...
    will write it tomorrow...
    getting up at 6... ugh.

    anyway, why is it that even when you floss on a daily basis
    your teeth still aren't flossing friendly
    my freakin' teeth won't let me floss very well at all...
    but it's better than more cavities
    what is it about the early 20's that involves new hormone flushes and increased cavities?
    or is that it?

April 05, 2004 -- 11:04 PM
posted by Jess



    I don't hava any more paper in me. I've looked and it's just not there.

    Thanks though Eric, for the link, they have that book, which made me happy.

April 05, 2004 -- 9:45 PM
posted by P

Bulk up on andro? What is this stuff, and, more importantly, where do you get it?

April 05, 2004 -- 9:02 PM
posted by Albert "Wu Dang Mountain

Yep should be doing my report right now... I think I'll post instead... Burn down cities? Is my horrorscope telling me to burn down a city? A 8th level demon!? bah! Why doesn't he summon a 666th level demon?

April 05, 2004 -- 8:31 PM
posted by Par

    Gee, Alison, couldn't I have gotten that sooner? I would like to have known about my tacky breast implants...

    More brilliance, from a certain Notley



    Also, from BBSpot, the real reason for finding no Weapons of Mass Destruction. Would ya believe this testimony?

    Senator Reid: How could you miss the possibility that Iraq had no WMDs when the matter of leading the country to war was at stake?
    Maxwell Smart: Missed it by that much.


    Ha Ha. Classic.

April 05, 2004 -- 8:12 PM
posted by alison

    So... check your Onion horoscopes
    for the week of March 31 to April 6 (not really a week, but you know...)

    Aries: (March 21—April 19)
    You will hear something this week that makes you doubt the love of your spouse, but exactly why circus music has this effect will remain a mystery.

    Taurus: (April. 20—May 20)
    Efficient, divine revelation is yours this week when the love goddess Aphrodite appears to you for 1.9 seconds during a round of speed-dating.

    Gemini: (May 21—June 21)
    You've always believed that you can judge a man by his handshakes, which is why you continue to denounce the theories of Stephen Hawking.

    Cancer: (June 22—July 22)
    You'll be granted the secret wish of parents everywhere when your adorable baby daughter stays that size forever.

    Leo: (July 23—Aug. 22)
    The stars believe that a person must make his own mistakes, but they warn you not to do anything that may, say, burn down Chicago this week.

    Virgo: (Aug. 23—Sept. 22)
    Personal growth looms large in your future as you are transformed into a 1,000-foot giant who blots out the sun.

    Libra: (Sept. 23—Oct. 23)
    You've always believed that the children are our future, which is true insofar as most are cruel, violent, and short.

    Scorpio: (Oct. 24—Nov. 21)
    You will find that one can go a long way in this world by practicing honesty, kindness, and the bizarre owl-worship ritual of the Druids.

    Sagittarius: (Nov. 22—Dec. 21)
    You'll achieve nationwide fame when footage of the polar bear mauling your carcass is set to "Flight Of The Bumblebee."

    Capricorn: (Dec. 22—Jan. 19)
    It's one thing to try to change your image, but it's another to bulk up on Andro, wear only white mink, and insist that you're the Vanilla Gorilla.

    Aquarius: (Jan. 20—Feb. 18)
    Some may call your breast implants tacky, but at least you had the guts to try out unconventional shapes.

    Pisces: (Feb. 19—March 20)
    You're in grave danger of planning your life around vague interpretations of the mysterious patterns that can supposedly be seen in the night sky.

April 05, 2004 -- 7:24 PM
posted by Troll under bridge

Really Percy click the link...blorg ...blorg... blorg...

April 05, 2004 -- 7:23 PM
posted by Albert "Hurricane Saber&q

Really Par? I always though it was counterclockwise... oh well... Percy hit link it can't be as bad as tub-girl...you'll thank us for it later...

April 05, 2004 -- 6:02 PM
posted by P

I thought purple day was for April Fools.

April 05, 2004 -- 5:27 PM
posted by alison

    by the way, Par,
    why did you change it back from purple?

    just asking, not complaining or anything...

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