Official cookie of people whose face we don't know?:

Yeah, well, Indian parents have their own version of that pressure (which my brother is well into right now), and it's measurably more direct than the "you should date your sister's friends" variety. Something to look forward to, I suppose...

Didn't the Game of Life have a spinner? I seem to recall the novelty of a spinner. Am I crazy?

Not to scare people and force them into a panic but maybe we should do something before Leo leaves. Kind of last minute notice, but you guys can figure something out. I have to rack my brain against a wellhead for a while.

okay, Albert, I understand what you're going through, but to hell with your parents. And I mean that in the nicest way, but I still mean it. They have no right to try and pressure you, or cow you into some sort of a relationship for the purpose of creating heirs. What business is it of theirs? Sure, in the end, most parents want to see their kids grow up, get jobs, get married and procreate, but it's not like you're a failure at 25, or 28 or 32 if you don't have a spouse and kids.

I really think people need to get a bit of perspective on things some times. What's more important, one's child being in a happy, productive and secure place, or them producing grandbabies? Not that you can't have both, but I think it's unfair to decide that, obviously, since you've graduated from university and found a steady job, you are ready to settle down, marry and bring forth multitudes of children. Who cares how old your parents are, they can wait until you're ready to have those grandchildren, if you choose to have them.

yes, i'm a bit of a crank, and i had a super long discussion on abortion yesterday evening (whoa, heavy subject for a drive...) and i'm tired of getting those sideways hints from my family and perhaps my uterus is speaking up here too...

I don't think it's fair to assume that every person out there is going to go down the same track as everyone else, in the same order, at the same pace, or the same time. Just because some of your friends are married, just because your parents had kids at your age, just because some people are financially secure at 23 doesn't mean you have to be any of those. ... not that i'm advocating living on your parent's dime and in their basement at the age of 40, but ... you know what I mean?

You, I, all of us have so much time left in our lives that it's hardly fair to expect and/or pressure us to start playing the Game of Life at the same pace as everyone else, and/or expect you to complete the game in the same way as everyone else. I mean, come on. Just because everyone else is rolling 5's and 7's doesn't mean your constant stream of 2's won't eventually get you to the finish line. (that was an example of the most recent round I played in which everyone else was married and buying houses and i was still in college... sound familiar? scarrily, i ended up with five children, i'm hoping that part doesn't come true!)

I don't know, I think the parental pressure to find someone kind of makes me feel that way. You know they aren't getting any younger, and I think they want to see some grandkids.

a real billboard in Houston



"Hi Steven,

Do I have your attention now?

I know all about her, you dirty, sneaky, immoral, unfaithful, poorly-endowed slimeball. Everything's caught on tape.

Your (soon-to-be-ex) Wife,
Emily

p.s. I paid for this billboard out of OUR joint bank account."

At the risk of sounding afterschool special on you, Al, I want to point out that just being in a relationship doesn't prevent a person from occassionally feeling like a fifth wheel, even when you're out with other couples. Hell, even when you're just alone with your partner, or your best friend(s), or family, or all alone, one can feel awfully out-of-place sometimes. I think not feeling like a fifth wheel has more to do with how comfortable you feel with yourself than it does the people around you.

Also, I want to post my frustration with one of my coaches. I'm not going to tell the story, because I'm tired of thinking about it, I'm just going to let you all know that I am annoyed (pissed off).

Be an Expert on Anything, by Stephen Colbert. My favorite tips:

PICK A FIELD THAT CAN'T BE VERIFIED. Try something like string theory or God’s will: “I speak to God. I’m sorry that you can’t also.” Security experts are in this category: They have security clearances, we don’t. We can’t question the expertise of the NSA because we are not in the NSA.

SPEAK FROM THE BALLS, NOT FROM THE DIAPHRAGM. In the expert game, you’ve got to have sack. That means speaking with confidence. In America, you’ve got to steer clear of nuance and ambivalence – and don’t even contemplate doubt.

DON'T BE AFRAID TO MAKE THINGS UP. Never fear being exposed as a fraud. Experts make things up all the time. They’re qualified to.

don't worry about it Al...

Whoa boy... time for another ranty mcrant...

This is just about the recent cases of "third wheel"ism that I've been experiancing lately. Not that I blame couples for my problem, they haven't done anything wrong it's just the somewhat akward moments you experiance. I really don't know what to think about the whole thing. I guess you come to a certain age and you realise that you are a "third wheel" and yes it is very socially akward. Take last night for example, I was with Beck and Keri, and Ed and Mary, nothing wrong at all. I actually had a lot of fun going to taste of Edmonton and then Chilis. Then I get home and then it's like Damn! I was the 5th wheel on that crazy 4 wheel relationship Skyline! I wasn't one of the four 18 inch Z rated Potenzas driving the car, I was the lowly 16 inch spare in the trunk, probally the same place you would find the subwoofer. It also doesn't help that your parents are wondering when you're going to get married and saying maybe you should hook up with one of your sister's friends. Don't think so! Like I claimed to AD in one of my ranty moods, I'm no ones bitch! This might or might not keep me from getting a relationship... Well still have my youth (or whats left of it), the Blue Bomber, and whatever else I haven't listed down. Don't know how long that will keep me sane... but yep end of the day Al is still Al and maybe that's what important.