kay. i've had a change of heart. we might try ONE LAST TWISTER tomorrow night.
if we do, this could be the last one of all time.
so if you wanna check it out, tomorrow night's the one to hit.
thanks all

Semi-regular McSweeney's highlight feature:

UTOPIAN ENDINGS FOR REALITY SHOWS.

The Amazing Race

The contestants notice they are in another country and decide to stop racing, interact meaningfully with people, and learn about local culture. Host Phil stands at the pit stop in the dark, waiting and waiting. Finally, he realizes no one is coming. He turns to the camera and says, "I am now free from the spell that was cast on me eons ago—a curse that said I must wander the earth until I could find a group of people who valued strangers from another nation as much as they valued themselves." He does a folkloric jig, then dances off into the night, released.

Me was thinking and me just don't get it. Why is me a monster? No one else called monster on Sesame Street. Well, no one who isn't really monster. Two-Headed Monster have two heads, so he real monster. Herry Monster strong and look angry, so he probably real monster, too. But is me really monster?

Me thinks me have serious problem. Me thinks me addicted. But since when it acceptable to call addict monster? It affliction. It disease. It burden. But does it make me monster?

DANCEPARTYCREW

HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!!

as a birthday gift to you, you should come out to TOP GEAR on Friday night as there will be a wicked danceparty, featuring the likes of Dietzche V + snowdudes, and some serious DJ talent (minus dj generic) in the likes of Nik & Jaycie Jayce from ShoutOutOutOutOut, and the supremeness himself, DUSTY GROOVES
it's gonna be awesome!!

Ditto

Happy Birthday Alison!

Happy B'day Alison!

Happy Birthday Alison!!!!!

Hear, hear. Although I don't know if she's in town...

I'll be showing these Calgary folk what it means to be a hockey fan while I'm here. There are actually a fair number of those flags here. Be back tuesday night, not that I would have seen most of you within this time span anyways. It seems my Dad had hit some grave on a right turn, slid across traffic and crushed his left leg against the guardrail. His left leg took the brunt of the impact it seems. He's had three surgeries so far. He's still in bed rest mode, and may get to sit up in a couple of days. all in all things are going well. though I don't think he will ever become a worldclass sprinter anymore.

and according to Paras' calander over there on the left it is someones birthday.

Happy Birthday Alison!!!!!

Maybe I'm just being persnickety (is that the word I want?), or maybe my standards are too high, but how the fuck are people like Jim Kelly getting paid to write shit like this?!

There's a famous scene in the original version of the movie Flight of the Phoenix where the captain -- played by Jimmy Stewart -- of a crashed and now rebuilt ruin of an aircraft is attempting to restart the engine of his crippled craft so that he might fly his charges out of the desert and onto survival.
...

In the big scene before the happy ending, Stewart, defying logic and the demands of the engineer who supervised the rebuilding of the wreck, opts to waste one of his two remaining explosive cartridges to clear the engine thereby enhancing his chances of getting it to fire up when he needs it most.
...

MacTavish should consider playing the role of the captain of the Phoenix and perhaps waste a cartridge if you will. He should give Roloson Saturday night off in Anaheim and play backup Jussi Markkanen.