Huh... Some quandry Alison. Sometimes a person feels empty no matter how much they try to fill their lives they will always be empty. They aren't depressed or anything, sometimes that is how it is. I don't think your in this type of situation, probally just wanderlust. Get it out of your system and then plan from there.

it's funny. I haven't paid this much attention to hockey since... jr high. amazing things happen when you join a hockey pool. that and I actually picked players I like on the Oilers (something about the way Horcoff and Stoll actually put effort into their games really impresses me). but then again, they haven't been in the second round for a really long time, so maybe it shouldn't feel so uncharacteristic to be so absorbed in the sport at the moment. ... not that I'm actually all that absorbed anyway, just more than usual.



in other news, I'm having a slight problem in that I keep going away and returning to Edmonton. (Grande Prairie next week, woo) That's not really the problem, since I've decided there's nothing I can do but accept the fact that my fate will be decided week to week, typically when I'm not around to have a voice in it. My problem is this: each time I return to the city, I find myself distanced from many of it's more familiar features... almost to the point of loathing in some circumstances. And... the most disconcerting thing is that, like a homing pigeon, I want to go 'home', but I can't seem to actually get there. nothing really feels like home any more. The closest I get to that happy, fulfilled feeling of being home is while I'm walking whyte avenue, or perhaps the u of a campus. Or... when driving through the area surrounding Lac La Biche. Somehow I think there's something going on here. I mean, yeah, I've always felt that this house was my parent's house, and it's never been mine, I've never pined for it. I don't think I've actually dreamed of it either ('home' in my dreams is invariably the house I grew up in, over in Capilano). I've spent more of my life here than anywhere else and yet it just doesn't welcome me. but, coming close to where Eric sits, my financial situation doesn't really suggest that I would be capable of living elsewhere and even attempting to find a 'home.' So, most of the time, right now, I feel lost, unanchored and drifting... even though I'm not. Could this be some existential-emotional response to the lack of planning by my supervisors, or is it something else? Is my subconscious simply screaming at me to move out? fuck, I have to save money... or get happy, one or the other... in the meantime, I'll have to settle for planning and packing for the next trip out.

Ugh. Greg Millen is doing colour for the Oilers-Sharks series. Hopefully, the CHED feed magically synchronizes better this time around. Otherwise, I will not be disappointed to see Millen kidnapped à la Damon Wayans in that basketball movie.

It seems the monkey at TSN has come over to the Oilers' side. (Maggie, that is. I think Pierre "MONSTERRR!" McGuire is going with the Sharks in this one.)

I remain conflicted about this one. There isn't much to hate about the Sharks (except maybe Kyle McLaren, who is of course famous for attempting to decapitate Richard Zednik a few years ago). I also find, apart from the obvious Joey-Joe-Joe/Cheechoo/Marleau beast of course, little to fear from these Sharks. And that, paradoxically, worries me.

With Detroit, there was that everpresent sense that they were going to play like the legendary team of a few seasons ago; the one that could score at will. That constant underlying fear kept the superstitious fan from hoping for too much, lest it be taken away. (And let's face it, there were moments (or, in some cases, whole periods) where Detroit could have and probably should have taken it away.)

But San Jose is different. Unproven. To reiterate, there seems like there's less to worry about. But one worries that because there is a reasonable undeluded chance of winning this series, such a chance doesn't actually exist; that chance seems like little more than the train tunnel painted on the side of the Warner Brothers' mountain.

Clearly I have hoped for too much from this team in the past to dream big now. Intellectually, there's at least a coin-flip's chance here. But my gut says otherwise. Perhaps after Game 1 I'll be able to resurrect the swagger that caused this incarnation of myself to predict the outcome of the first round (in fine print, of course.)

http://www.pandora.com/

Don't know if anyone has heard of this before.. and I didn't play with it for very long.. so if anyone else gets a chance, let us know how it goes. Basically you put in some music you like... it searchs for similar stuff, you keep telling it what you do and don't like and it adapts to your preferences.

MICHAEL PECA's HALF EATEN BREAD LOAF!!!!

-ATV training? Man, Alison thats so cool! Now you are so Xtreme! Thats right Xtreme, big crossed arm X , Xtreme! Well hope you have fun and find this to be a rewarding and challenging experiance.

-I read in the Driving section of the journal today that analyst predict within 2-5 years that there will be chaos when filling gas at the pump. Basically that there will be no one viable source of fuel to put in our cars. What does this all mean? It means I won't be getting or fueling up that Nissan Skyline in the future. I think this is good as I'm going to get, the era of the large, "no use" high horsepower car is over. Hello Smart cars for everyone!

KAY BITCHES
beat this

i have NEGATIVE $1.26 in my account right now
that's right
NEGATIVE

well, I think I know what I'll feel like when I become old. I think everything on my body creaks right now. It's... really painful and difficult to move. Thank you 3 1/2 days of field work and an evening of atv training. So, I'm not saying I didn't have an alright time, just that I would've made mountains more progress had I been home figuring my field season out. We worked through some rather hideous weather (LacLaBiche had 10cm snow, we probably had more), fought off frozen fingers and suffered with depleted batteries when we actually did succeed in finding a sunny day.

I dunno, I sort-of relish being outside, and working in remote places. But at the same time, I don't particularly like some of the people I work with (I swear the Romanian is trying to hit on me, and it's really not cool), and I would benefit so much more (as would my data) if I was to actually be figuring out what I'm supposed to be doing. I think I got a little too cranky on my last post (way back when), but at the time, it was appropriate, and I'm glad I got so steamed, maybe they'll actually set up a meeting with me now... or simply send me back to the field on Monday... woo hoo Grande Prairie... with the snobby Ontarian.

it strikes me as slightly odd that I saw more flashers on the cbc news tuesday night than I did when I was on white ave where all the flashers actually were. .. . .... ..... I apparently left about the right time because about 10 minutes later they used teargas to disperse the crowd!!

Soccer is great. It has been way too long since I played. forgot how much I love this game. soo much better than indoor soccer.

On that note, anyone want to pledge some money to me for running in the great human race. some goes to the united way, and some to my team. On the off chance any of you actually have any money laying around that you just couldn't decide what to spend it on. I think I am the solution to your problems. www.greathuman race.com is the site, and the person to pledge it to is yours truely, the greatest, most humble person to ever grace God's great earth, Jesse Hitchen. the NPO is Druid FC. Please think of the poor little kids who have grown up and want to play some soccer, who are starving because we all sold our last cow to buy some synthetic leather to make soccer shoes. please give. Just look into their eyes, and the decision will be made easier for you. If you donate a grand total of $10, it is the same as 2.767 cents a day for a year. thats the same as a...am.... ahh..... not very much so, in conclsion, give me your money you cheap bastards. Oh yeah, over $10 is a tax write off and I am running 8 km on sprained ankles, so please take pity on me. thank you for those who are actualy still read my ramblings

Thats what I would be saying if I was the main character in the Korean film "Old boy". A recommended must see.