I got a forward from my uncle in England, usually I don't find them funny, but this one had me giggling for some reason... maybe I'm tired

Who says working in a hospital can't be fun ... actual writings from
hospital charts:

1. The patient refused autopsy.
2. The patient has no previous history of suicides.
3. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
4. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was
hot in bed last night.
5. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
6. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it
disappeared.
7. The patient is tearful and crying constantly & also appears to be
depressed.
8. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
9. Discharge status: Alive but without permission
10. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert but
forgetful.
11. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
12. She is numb from her toes down.
13. While in ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.
14. The skin was moist and dry.
15. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.
16. Patient was alert and unresponsive.
17. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid
18. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until
she got a divorce.
19. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical
therapy.
20. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
21. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
22. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
23. Skin: somewhat pale but present.
24. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor
25. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.

oooh, burn

tee hee




can you guess where these are from?

and... because I'm on the mailing list, I was made aware of this

Kurt Vonnegut is writing for In These Times and has produced this article of which the following is excerpted

This is the information revolution. We have taken it very badly so far. Information seems to be getting in the way all the time. Human beings have had to guess about almost everything for the past million years or so. Our most enthralling and sometimes terrifying guessers are the leading characters in our history books. I will name two of them: Aristotle and Hitler. One good guesser and one bad one.

he's also got a new book A Man Without A Country that looks quite tantalising.

brr... cccold!

anyway, I hate to say this, but, dear Matty, I think I'm going to take a rain check on your fantabulous night of stand-up at the Comic Strip WEM (bourbon street) 8pm tonight and spend my night knitting christmas presents and taking care of my other mundane affairs that otherwise are languishing... isn't that just about the lamest excuse ever? i'm so sorry.

however, I hope the reminder plug helps!

OFFICE MEMO: hey Tony, please check your hipstertwister email. it's a business matter. thanks.

wtf am i now? Ask Jeeves?!? shit. and why are all my questions involving Eli somehow haha.

yup. it's true. it's been that way for the last few weeks now actually. even during that Henry party (a few days before that was the unofficial Velvet launch) it's not bad, they openned up some new seating space, such as right next to the stage where they previously just put crates and shit. it's not really a big difference, but it's better. the less Shawn Horcoff on the walls, the better.

I think today I heard that the Victory Lounge is now "the Velvet Underground"...? wtf? Can anyone verify this, or did I make that up?

Check it:



For media encoding and filtering, the P4 640 clearly outperforms not only the Athlon 64 3800+ but unexpectedly even the 4000+!!! I think for what I'm using this computer for, it's gonna be fuckin SWEET.

To your guys' credit though, the Athlon 64s blow the P4s out of the water when it comes to 3D gaming... but I honestly don't even own a single current PC game, unless minesweeper and NES emulators count. If I did though, I wouldn't hesitate for even a second to buy an AMD instead.