(okay, so not new, but surprisingly appropriate)

VOLUME 31 ISSUE 16 — 29 APRIL 1997
Ünited Stätes Toughens Image With Umlauts
WASHINGTON, DC—In a move designed to make the United States seem more "bad-assed and scary in a quasi-heavy-metal manner," Congress passed a bill Monday changing the nation's name to the Ünited Stätes of Ämerica. "Much like Mötley Crüe and Motörhead, the Ünited Stätes is not to be messed with," said Sen. James Inhofe (R-OK). An upcoming redesign of the Ämerican flag will feature the new name in burnished silver wrought in a jagged, gothic font and bolted to a black background. A new national anthem is also in the works, to be written by composer Glenn Danzig and tentatively titled "Howl Of The She-Demon."


VOLUME 39 ISSUE 32 — 20 AUGUST 2003
Bush Diagnosed With Attention-To-Deficit Disorder
WASHINGTON, DC—Pointing to massive war-time tax cuts, physicians from the Congressional Budget Office diagnosed President Bush with attention-to-deficit disorder Tuesday. "The president exhibits all the symptoms of ATDD: impulsiveness, restlessness, inability to focus on mounting U.S. debt likely to reach $400 billion by the year's end," Dr. Terrence Spellman said. "Failing to address his affliction could lead to serious long-term fiscal health problems for future generations of Americans." To treat the president's ATDD, Spellman prescribed Ritalin and an introductory course in high-school economics.

jeeze guys, the R stands for Returns, sheesh

actually, Rossvegas. If you've gotten any e-mails from him, that's how he signs off
all that time in Rossland must've done something to his brain

so there, one mor thing you all know about Jeremy now.



and unofficially/officially I now know what's going on,
but I'm not sure I can tell people yet
bah! administration is incredibly frustrating
who needs council approval anyway?

*yawn
yuh huh Beck, this sucks ass.

but as Jere would say.....Boobies! boobieboobieboobies

your welcome.

Crazy... must be close to finals with this many people up this late.
Thanx Tay

aww sweet, Kurasawa box set. nice. though "Ran" was basically a retelling of King Lear, i thought that film was friggin' brilliant and elloquent in its delivery. "Seven Samurai" had less of an effect on me, i think it was those damn country bumpkins- shit did they piss me off. sorrow is the nature of their existence. and what's with all the screaming as a notification of action? (read modern day equivilent in Anime's Power-Up sequence) and the constant running to and fro, just seemed so prototypically japanese... well...then again maybe it wasn't so prototypical until Kurasawa put it on film.

Beck: can and will do.

no... I haven't seen Brazil yet... but we were talking about how the bureaucracy of the university system is comparitive to fictional dystopic societies... and Tom mentioned Brazil. I still haven't seen it yet, but we did talk about watching it sometime soon. I'll make sure to let you know when we plan to do it up.

He also got Kurasawa's boxed set for his birthday which we'll have to watch sometime.

Muser? He's a toy without flow or style. If I ever decide to put my good name out there I intend to take the time to work out some proper burners instead of just disgracing my name like he does.

Mostly though, I just want to stencil shirts... hahaha
I think New York Fat Tips will work best for stencilling shirts but I'm not sure. I'll have to experiment. I think I might pick up some cans of the good old Krylon sometime soon...

I'd like to get some shirts done for the 7th... if only just so that I can finance my part of us going into the recording studio this summer.

As I very rarely see Tom can someone who does please pass on a belated Happy B'day for me?
Please and Thanx
-Beck

fuck, you guys saw Brazil already? i wanted to see that. shit. Jonze went on record saying how Being John Malkovich was stylistically referenced from Brazil.
Yeah, actually i phoned up both Gary and Simon earlier in the day in the hopes that i would be able to pass along an encouraging Happy Birthday to Tom, but alas i suppose it was only until later in the evening that you guys met up. whatever i'll make it up to him tommorow or something.

as for passports, yeah they take forever, and i knew they would take forever, but i still ended up putting it off (as i needed my Professor to sign my documents as a Guarantor) long enough that the month of extra time i alotted was eventually reduced to nil. i will (hopefully) be receiving my passport the week before we leave.

cans? sweet, time to bomb the shit outta this city, especially that fucktard Muser. remember to spray the name in 'ALL CAPS'.